Thursday 5 June 2008

Fertility support Groups

Now it's so easy to talk to one another online that the traditional clinic support group has become rather neglected. It's much more convenient to be able to chat to one another online, and to be able to access support as and when you need it. It's also far easier, as it takes courage to walk into a roomful of strangers when the only thing you have in common is your fertility problems.

Earlier this week, I went to a clinic support group in Woking, and it made me realise that there's a lot to be said for this rather old-fashioned kind of get together. This group - like many others - has a speaker at most meetings, so you get the chance to learn more from people who are experts in their individual fields, and more importantly you also get to meet one another face to face. There was a very welcoming atmosphere, and by the end of the meeting people were happily chatting and swapping information which is what these events should be about.

It may not be easy to gather the strength to get there in the first place. I still remember how we dithered when someone set up a support group in our area. We nearly didn't get into the car to drive there, and then we nearly didn't get out of the car once we arrived, sitting there telling one another that we weren't the sort of people who went to support groups, as if anyone is... Once we'd managed to knock on the front door and get inside, it was incredibly reassuring to be in a roomful of others who all knew what it was like, and who weren't going to start asking those "when are you going to get around to having children" questions. For the first time, we even managed to laugh about some of our experiences, and we went home feeling so relieved that we'd finally met other people who were going through the same thing.

Of course, you can get that reassurance online. But you never know who you're talking to, and you don't have that human contact which can really help when you're feeling lonely and isolated. I wish more clinics made the effort to run support groups, but they aren't going to do that if they think patients aren't interested. I know it's not for everyone, but if you have a local support group, do think about giving it a try. You may be pleasantly surprised.

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