Report on the More to Life day

We were all delighted that our first ever More to Life day for those who are involuntarily childless was a resounding success, attended by more than eighty people. I must admit I’d been quite anxious in the run up to the day about whether people would enjoy it, but the afternoon of talks and workshops provided an ideal opportunity for More to Life members from across the country to get together and for prospective members to find out more about the charity and what it can offer.

The afternoon was opened by More to Life Chief Executive, Clare Lewis-Jones, who explained a little about the background to the charity and about all the work both staff and volunteers do throughout the UK to enable More to Life to offer help and support to those who are involuntarily childless.

The first speaker of the afternoon was counsellor Jayne Williamson from Aberdeen whose talk was peppered with music, poetry and art. Jayne talked about the coping strategies she suggests in her therapy sessions and about the art therapy she practices. She showed us some of the art work she’d produced herself whilst learning about the process, and explained that once people had overcome their anxieties about putting pen or paint to paper they often found it could offer unique insights, forming a very helpful part of the healing process.

Jayne’s talk was followed by a workshop with Vivienne Edgecombe, who began by explaining that she was going to be talking from the heart about her own experience of involuntary childlessness and about her journey to the realisation that you don’t need children in order to have a happy life. Vivienne looked at the way we can get stuck in negative thought patterns about all kinds of things in our lives, and explained that she uses EFT(Emotional Freedom Technique), or tapping, to help get rid of negative thoughts. She showed the audience how to tap, starting with a tap on the side of the hand and moving around the upper body. She admitted that it might look a bit odd, and explained that there were all kinds of theories about why it might work, but that the important thing from her perspective was that it really did seem to make a difference. Vivienne’s natural enthusiasm and honesty shone through in her talk, which left many of those in the audience feeling really inspired.

The break in the middle of the afternoon gave the audience a chance to get together and chat, to make new friends and to meet others from their local area. There was a really lovely, friendly atmosphere where everyone felt welcomed, and it was quite a feat to encourage the delegates back into the conference hall for the second half of the afternoon!

The final speakers, Hazel Hodge and Rachel Ormrod, are both familiar faces to many More to Life members. Hazel, an active member from the Midlands, spoke eloquently about her own experiences of involuntary childlessness and of learning to cope after a hysterectomy. Hazel shared many of her own ideas and suggestions for focusing on the positives and explained that those without children have two valuable resources, time and money, which they can use to live their lives to the full. Hazel showed her own list of positive things that she intends to do in her life, and discussed her voluntary work for More to Life and with children, as well as her fundraising activities. She explained that a ‘moving on plan’, which she refers to as a mop, is an essential part of learning to cope and of finding a purpose in life.

Rachel Ormrod, our final speaker, was best known to many of the audience as the co-author of ‘Beyond Childlessness’, a great resource for anyone dealing with involuntary childlessness. Rachel told her own story, and talked about the stages of acceptance of her own involuntary childlessness, with a very frank and open account of the lows and highs. Rachel’s husband declared he didn’t want children after they married, and she spent the next 20 years dealing with this before he decided he wanted a divorce, leaving her free to do whatever she wanted with her life. She offered her services to an orphanage in Africa and the picture she painted of the children, longing for parental care, and of herself, living in their world but still feeling the pain of her own childlessness so acutely, was incredibly moving.

The afternoon ended with a presentation of flowers to the More to Life chair, Judy Wingrove, who has done so much to ensure More to Life can continue to work to support those experiencing involuntary childlessness. The day was a great success, and one we hope that can be repeated n the future!
  
 
 
 

Brighton fertility support group

The Brighton fertility support group organised by Infertility Network UK will be meeting this Thursday, 24 March, at the Agora Clinic in Hove at 6pm. The meeting is open to everyone - you don't need to be having treatment at the clinic - and you don't need to book to come to the group, just turn up on Thursday evening. Hope to see you there!

Asian support group

The next meeting of the Infertility Network UK Asian support group will be held this Tuesday at the Harley Street Fertility Clinic in Devonshire Street, which is just off Harley Street in Central London. The Asian support group has proved to be a huge success and has featured on the BBC's Woman's Hour and the BBC Asian Network in recent months. The group is open to everyone - you don't have to be having treatment at the clinic or to be a member of Infertility Network UK. Do come along on Tuesday at 6.30pm if you're interested - it's a very informal, supportive and friendly group.

Tomorrow's More to Life day

Just to make sure everyone is aware that you can just turn up on the day tomorrow for our first ever More to Life day for the involuntarily childless and pay on the door. It promises to be a fascinating afternoon, and we've got a fantastic range of speakers - and we've also gone far beyond our expectations when it comes to the numbers of delegates. There are details on the More to Life website - the runs from 1.30pm and will be held at The Resource Centre in Holloway. Do come and join us if you can!

More to Life - March 19

The first ever day for people living with involuntary childlessness has been set for March 19. The More to Life day will be marked with an afternoon of talks and workshops at the Resource Centre in Holloway, and bookings for the day are now open.

The day will include talks from BICA counsellor Jayne Williamson, based at the University of Aberdeen, on coping strategies and a workshop run by Vivienne Edgecombe focusing on childlessness and a happy life. There will be a break with an opportunity to meet up with others from your local area, followed by Hazel Hodge speaking about a fulfilling life without children of your own. The day will end with the co-author of Beyond Childlessness, Rachel Ormrod, speaking about Surviving, then Thriving.

It promises to be a really interesting afternoon, and you can book online at www.moretolife.co.uk

The blog is back...

Apologies for the lack of posts for the last few months. I've been finishing my new book, due out later this year, which is now finally written and in the editing stages, so the blog is back!

It has been a dreadful few months for anyone needing fertility treatment, as one PCT after another has slashed funding despite the Department of Health and the government making it quite clear that PCTs are expected to be working towards implementing the NICE guideline and providing up to three cycles of IVF. It's particularly sad to see that many of the PCTs are now using the fact that others have already cut funding as an excuse - as if following someone else's bad decision makes it acceptable.

Don't worry - the blog won't all be doom and gloom. There will be the latest updates in fertility tests and treatment, and lots of interesting news and comment so I hope you will enjoy following Fertility Matters again!