Friday, 10 February 2012

Coping with other people's pregnancies

Dealing with other people's pregnancies is one of the most difficult things when you are trying unsuccessfully to conceive. It's the moment people tell you that is hardest - the awful sinking feeling that yet another of your friends or colleagues has been blessed while the numbers of childless people around you dwindle by the day, the horrible jealousy that you feel wondering why it can't ever be your turn and the lump in your throat as you give a brittle smile and offer your congratulations.

Perhaps the worst thing about this is that it makes you start to dislike yourself. I've lost count of the number of times that women have told me they've stopped liking themselves when they're trying to get pregnant unsuccessfully. You feel you are turning into a bitter, jealous person and it's hard not to let those feelings overwhelm you.

I think we have to accept them and realise that it is only normal to feel this way - and that other women who are trying to conceive are going through just the same feelings. There's nothing you can do to escape those terrible moments of someone breaking the news but accepting that your reaction to it is perfectly normal will at least stop you thinking you're turning into a monster.

It was a post on the Infertility Network blog that made me think of this, as anyone with experience of fertility problems would so completely understand where the writer was coming from - you can read it here

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