Waiting rooms

I ended up spending a lot of time last night in a hospital waiting room (with a suspected eye problem which turned out to be absolutely fine), and it made me think about the amount of time I must have spent over the years in fertility unit waiting rooms - and how different they are. Last night, there were a huge range of people in the waiting room with all kinds of different eye problems but we were stuck there together, waiting - and so, after a while, people began to smile at one another or raise eyebrows as we waited on and on, and then began to chat. I spoke to three different people who happened to be next to me over the course of many hours as we lamented our inability to be able to read due to the drops they'd put in our eyes and wondered whether we'd ever get home. It's odd in a way that the spirit of being in an unpleasant situation together very rarely makes fertility patients start talking to one another. For the most part, we even try to avoid eye contact in waiting rooms, let alone begin conversations. Is it the stigma that still somehow lingers around fertility problems? Is it the fact that we feel so emotional and often close to tears? Or perhaps it's because talking to one another might somehow make the fact that we have to be there seem even more real. It's a shame because there's a huge amount to be gained from talking to others who have the same problem and sharing experiences. Not only is it a huge relief to talk to people who genuinely understand, it also helps to normalise the experience, reminding us that we're not alone and that infertility is really a very common problem. At this point, I have to confess that in all the years I spent in the fertility clinic waiting room I only ever spoke to one person - and that was because she spoke to me first. If talking is too much - and I accept that it quite possibly is - then maybe we should try to at least give one another a smile if we catch eyes at the clinic. It's just a gesture, but sometimes the old saying about a little kindness going a long way seems very true and may make all the difference.