I went to a fantastic workshop earlier this week organised by PROGAR about donor conception. The keynote speaker was Professor Ken Daniels from New Zealand who gave an inspiring talk which covered the whole issue of how we deal with donor conception. If you've ever had any doubts about whether telling a child they were donor conceived is the right thing to do, just a few minutes listening to Ken Daniels talking would leave you utterly convinced.
He showed how being open about donor conception, and telling children from an early age just stops it being an issue at all, and illustrated how difficult it is when there is a secret at the heart of a family. Some of the stories he told and clips he played were so moving that they left a tear in my eye, but he passed on his information in such a calm, measured way.
There was a really interesting discussion afterwards with two people who had been conceived with donor gametes - and again, their testimony made it clear that telling is just so important. It can be hard to know quite how, or what, to tell a child but the earlier you do it, the easier it is as it just becomes something that a child has always known rather than information imparted in a formal way. If you're worried about how to tell, contact the Donor Conception Network, who run fantastic courses on this very subject where you will also have the opportunity to meet up with other parents
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