I may not be a mother, but I'm still a person

If you didn't see it, take a look at this article from yesterday's Observer. It's the story of a woman in her forties who doesn't have children, and explains how marginalised she often feels as a result of her childlessness. She discusses how all-consuming the role of motherhood has become in our society, and how it can leave those who don't have children feeling ostracised and isolated.

It may surprise you to know that one in five of the female population in the UK will not have children, as it doesn't always feel that common when you are the lone childless woman in a room full of mothers. Many of us will recognise the feelings of separation from other women who have children, and the awkwardness that can arise at certain social situations. I often suggest that women who are actively trying to get pregnant should simply avoid events which are likely to be particularly difficult, but this isn't a long-term solution if you have accepted a child-free future.

If all this sounds very familiar, you may be interested in a group called Gateway Women set up by the woman featured in the Observer piece which aims to offer support to those in this situation.

New study looking at impact of involuntary childlessness on men

A new research project may be of interest to many men who are involuntarily childless as it explores men's experiences of being childless as they age, focusing on men between the ages of 50 and 70 who have not been able to become fathers. If you fall into this category, or know anyone who does, the research team are looking for men who may be willing to take part in the study.

Studies looking at the impact of childlessness tend to focus on women, but this new project will concentrate on men, looking at how they feel about their involuntary childlessness as they grow older and what impact this has on their relationships, their social life, health care and wellbeing.

You can find out more about the new research here and if you are interested in participating there are more details about what would be involved here.

Tomorrow's More to Life day

Just to make sure everyone is aware that you can just turn up on the day tomorrow for our first ever More to Life day for the involuntarily childless and pay on the door. It promises to be a fascinating afternoon, and we've got a fantastic range of speakers - and we've also gone far beyond our expectations when it comes to the numbers of delegates. There are details on the More to Life website - the runs from 1.30pm and will be held at The Resource Centre in Holloway. Do come and join us if you can!

More to Life - March 19

The first ever day for people living with involuntary childlessness has been set for March 19. The More to Life day will be marked with an afternoon of talks and workshops at the Resource Centre in Holloway, and bookings for the day are now open.

The day will include talks from BICA counsellor Jayne Williamson, based at the University of Aberdeen, on coping strategies and a workshop run by Vivienne Edgecombe focusing on childlessness and a happy life. There will be a break with an opportunity to meet up with others from your local area, followed by Hazel Hodge speaking about a fulfilling life without children of your own. The day will end with the co-author of Beyond Childlessness, Rachel Ormrod, speaking about Surviving, then Thriving.

It promises to be a really interesting afternoon, and you can book online at www.moretolife.co.uk

More to Life Day - March 2011

For anyone who has imagined that they will have a family, contemplating a future without children can seem a bleak and lonely prospect. More to Life is a charity offering help and support to anyone who is involuntarily childless, whatever their path to that point may have been. Next year will see the first ever More to Life day, with speakers, information, advice and support on hand for an afternoon in Central London. The date has been set for March 19 2011 and we are now putting together a programme of speakers. You can find out about More to Life at www.moretolife.co.uk

More to Life

In our society, it can sometimes feel as if children and families are the be all and end all. It's often only when you're trying unsuccessfully to have a child, or are involuntarily childless, that you become aware of quite how entrenched some attitudes are, and this can make what is already a difficult experience even harder.

Making a decision to give up on fertility treatment can be tough, and yet clinics are not always ready to offer the counselling many people need to help them through this. For those who decide not to have fertility treatment, or who simply can't afford it, there may be even less in the way of support available.

Involuntary childlessness is often very isolating, and you may feel cut off from family and friends. Family-friendly employment policies and tax breaks can all seem to be set against those without children, and other people often lack sympathy, or any understanding of your situation.

However, help is at hand. More to Life is a national charity working to offer support to all those who are involuntarily childless for whatever reason. They can give advice and information, and also have a network of local contacts. They also organise groups and social events. You can find their website here